Friends, when I heard about the latest gimcrack notion spinning about in order to improve our lives, I fell to laughing – and then, when I realised the implications for me, I began to weep. Because, if “they”
do put the notion in motion, then we really will be living in a nightmare dystopia. In case you haven’t heard, a certain academic has put forward the theory that banning the consumption of food on public transport will curb childhood obesity – yes, I did write that. Friends, I ask: in what universe does food consumed on trains and buses – as opposed to say, in people’s homes, and in cafes and restaurants, and in canteens and dining halls - gain in calorific value? And bear in mind the implications for our wider culture; instances of passengers convening in railway dining carriages have served as time-honoured triggers to best-selling novels and blockbuster movies.
Then, I reread the spec and realised that the notion only applied to food consumed on
urban transport – ah, intercity travellers, rest assured. But friends, I ask, in what universe does food consumed in an
urban environment gain in calorific value as opposed to say, food eaten amid green fields, forests and on rocky mountains? But what do I know – maybe the theory has been tried and tested and proved fruitful? In which case, what does this academic say to the hordes of adult workers who thread their way across town centre and suburb daily, from one low-paid gig to another? Where are we, without access to a well-stocked canteen or 5-star dining facility, supposed to nibble our much-needed sandwiches and sesame-seed crackers? In case said academic is unaware, work without calorie supply is impossible. (If in doubt, please consult the first law of thermodynamics!!!) Sure, we could consume our comestibles out of doors, but it all begs the question: where will “they” ban eating next – underneath trees, on park benches, in public squares….?
https://www.theguardian.com/food/shortcuts/2019/oct/10/eating-on-public-transport-human-right
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