House of Cheese

Today’s Guardian (April 20, 2013) carries an interesting editorial, exploring the possibility of building a British, cheese-based economy. My first instinct was to dismiss it but looked at more closely, it is quite credible. Denmark built a bacon-based economy in the 1950s, and there is no reason why we can’t do it with cheese. There is so much already in place; the land, the rainfall, the herds, the people, and cheese districts like Stilton and Cheddar. What is more, our grazing pastures and herds of cattle cannot be salted off abroad. This is in contrast to the manufacturing sector where moneymaking enterprises are routinely carted to faraway places. Another plus is that agri-businesses can be distributed throughout Blighty in ways that compartmentalised sectors like finance cannot. Just think of young people flocking to courses in stock husbandry, dairy culture, nutrition, cheese cuisine, marketing, branding, advertising – OK. We got those already, but this would be marketing with a twist – a cheesy twist, you might say. And just think of the spin-offs; the mountains of crackers and biscuits, the olives and bottles of wine, the cheese tastings and fondue parties – we might even knock the Swiss off their mountain perch. So, how about milking this idea for all it is worth, leaders? My mouth is watering already…

Packaged with care...

A few days’ ago, I received a telephone sales call. This time, it wasn’t anyone asking if I had a recent accident, or pleading to apply for the return of payment protection insurance, nor was it a power company promising mysteriously to “save you some money”. There wasn’t a Floridan holiday in sight, or a new conservatory nor a set of spanking-new, double-glazed windows. Nope, the caller on this occasion was enquiring about the efficacy of my computer care package…ah! Now, there’s a new phenomenon for me to take in: a computer care package. I assured the young lady that my computer was well cared for, thanks, and hung up. I meditated for a while, then I did a quick roll-over of Google to see what I had been missing and – lawksamussy! –ye gods! There are none so blind as those who do not see. For a sum of money, the computer owner can purchase a number of service hours, per month, from a company like Microsoft, to ensure the smooth running of their computer equipment. If you don’t use “your” hours one month, you can roll them on to next month, and so on and so forth. Like health care, there a different levels of care package, from the most basic computer maintenance to the more exclusive (read expensive) levels that include a removal service of old and broken computing equipment for recycling. One package, sold by Microsoft, even includes a power usage health check – now, we are getting into the realms of anthropomorphism. But don’t take my word for it. Check this link for more details. In the meantime, I scratch my head while I wonder what household god to sacrifice in the name of good, computer care – food, perhaps?

Railway to Heaven

Readers of this blog will know that I never was a motorist. On the contrary, I (mis)-spent my teenage years raging at the lack of train track and rolling stock to the remoter areas of the Emerald Isle – weird in a country that sells itself as a tourist paradise. Decades later, I learned of the Beeching Report, trotted out on March 27, 1963, which led eventually to the axing of more than one third of rail services in the UK. Fast forward to March 30, 2013. The volunteer-led Swanage Railway has just reopened the Bournemouth to Swanage line, the occasion marked by running a train. By 2015, the company aims to run a regular train service on that line, using the £1.47 million grant that it has been given. There is much more detail in the Guardian article that inspired this piece. Right now, I am growing all misty-eyed for a time and place that never was; a land where unobtrusive railway tracks wound around steep mountains, allowing awestruck passengers to enjoy vistas of sheep grazing amid ancient, ruined castles and flowers growing around picture-pretty cottages. With the progress of Beeching in reverse, maybe that vision will happen yet.