A Nightmare Crystal Maze...

Change is a good thing; we all have to move on and this time of year is as good as any to ring out the old and usher in the new. So, it was with optimism that I ventured – following many years of absence – into the “new” Brown Thomas store on Dublin’s Grafton Street. The “new” store occupies a site across the street from the former site, which is alright. Like I said, we all have to move on. But once inside, my optimistic anticipation turned from surprise to disappointment to disgruntlement to despair. Yes, I know that upmarket stores are slowly abandoning art nouveau and art deco references in favour of LED-outlined mirror panels. And I know that formal hierarchies of management are as obsolete as the harsh, right-angled counters that have now dissolved into touchy-feely, user-friendly product display “pods”. What floored me was the disappearance of the panopticon-like atrium, the glorious see-all-at-a-view configuration, whether from ground level or mezzanine balcony. In the old days, only bargains belonged to the basement, my dear, but now, the entire store is a nightmare crystal maze of tunnels and caverns. I wandered lost and lonely through a labyrinth lined with designer handbags, sunglasses and sports’ shoes. Feeling as out of place as Will Ferrell in every movie he has ever been in – especially THAT one – I watched children purchasing said goods from other children that were dressed up as sales’ personnel. Finally, I crumbled and asked for directions to the ladies’ bathroom. To be fair, the resident elves were sweet, friendly and very helpful – but it took no fewer than three separate briefings to direct me to the site of my focus, and I exited the store as soon as possible afterwards – sorry, BT, no profit from me. I get that Brown Thomas is now an emporium for well-to-do youth, but my question is: are there no shopping havens left for stuffy old traditionalists like me? The classical, grid-based store layout had its downside, but at least it enabled the customer a degree of independence in moving about – and gave the personnel a few square feet of private space during work hours. I wish the “new” Brown Thomas every success – and a Happy New Year to all..

A Strange Time of Year

With its festive trimmings, ritual meal and family gathering, Christmas is a topsy-turvy time, when the daily norms are subverted and chronological punctuation vanishes into an ether of twinkling lights and discarded wrapping paper. No doubt Charles Dickens sensed this tock-ticking when he wrote his seminal A Christmas Carol, the story of Ebenezer Scrooge who was haunted by the ghosts of his erstwhile business partner and his past, present and future distilled into three spirits warning him to change his miserly ways – or else. The subversion of time came home to me at seven o’clock a few mornings ago, when a little girl's voice commanded me to get out of bed and help her hang baubles on a Christmas tree….well, ‘tis the season of goodwill. Dazed with early morning confusion, I struggled with the perplexities of stringing a thousand – it seemed – silver and gold, red and rose-coloured gilt balls on an already over-decorated fir. Time will come when I will weep with the delicious memory of it all, when the ghosts of my past Christmases will hover around, fingers a-wagging as they relate how I did not appreciate it all. Wherever you are and whoever you are with, have a wonderful, wonderful time.