Tears of the Cyclopes

In ancient Greece lived three Cyclopes; Arges, Brontes, Asteropes. Mighty strong young men were they; forging armour night and day. Lightening and thunder for Zeus they threw; with all the power and might they knew. Thunderbolts crashed from mountains high; thrown by the Cyclopes who had one eye. This all-seeing member in the centre of the face; could see everything, everyone and every place. The power of these Titans who lived long ago; is with us still today, you know. Look round your kitchen for the all-seeing eye; ignore not the engine with which you wash and dry. Your towels and sheets and shirts and socks; undies, blouses, hankies, frocks. If to the Cyclopes you cannot relate; your domestic washer, then hear me, mate. Load your clothes into the drum; start the engine, hear it thrum. See it start to gather speed; soap and conditioner to it feed. See the suds run down the window; tears of the Cyclopes, I assure you. Shake and rattle, roar and rumble; the clean-machine begins to tumble. Soon your clothes will be quite dry; through the power of the Beast with the all-seeing eye. So never, ever, ever doubt; the might of the Cyclopes is still about. Rendering our laundry fresh and clean; trashing about in the washing machine.

Fashion Classics: Black Leggings...

Kingdoms rise and governments fall, winter turns to spring, to summer and to Fall, yet the black-legged silhouette goes on forever. What is it about this taut little garment that brings out the finer points of every woman, even those of us not possessed of an Elle Macpherson pair of pins? What convergence of science (optical physics, fabric technology, aesthetics?) created a garment that looks good with everything, from bulky winter jackets to filmy summer shifts, clown-bright jersey dresses to muted peasant smocks? And it’s oh, so-oooooo democratic, the little black dress of the twenty-first century. Right now, I am crowing with delight, having just gotten my mitts on two Esmara (aka Lidl) products, a pair of black leggings (£3.99) and a pair of black footless tights (£2.49). Visually, there is not much between them. Both garments score high on comfort and fit. However, the tights are finer in weave and will behave nicely under pinafores and dresses, while the sturdier leggings are like cosy, skin-tight trousers…aaah! I am nursing the reorder codes carefully.