Monday 25 April 2022

The Logic of Luggage

Reader, I used to love airports, the entire razzle, the excitement of packing for a much-anticipated trip, the glorious entry to the rarefied atmosphere of a hub of a thousand airlines, it seemed, before jetting off into the skies to whatever destination. Several decades and countless trips later, I have to wonder: what has happened to those halcyon days? I am not complaining about security procedures: we all want to travel safely. Besides, I rather enjoy sashaying through the electronic portal; modelling dreams fulfilled and all of that! It is the illogical attitude of the “cabin-sized bag” that many airlines seem to favour that is sending me into over-drive.
Friend, I ask: what is the point of a checking a cabin-sized bag into the hold, a facility that many airlines provide for free? Surely, the whole point of a cabin-sized bag is to take it into the, er, cabin? And wherefrom the attendant logic of charging the passenger through the nose for checking a “normal” suitcase into the place that it was designed to travel in? What has happened to the days when every paying passenger was allocated a baggage weight and only charged for the extra weight? Here, I will try to answer a few of those questions; there exists a slice of population who seem able to break a law of fundamental physics, and stuff as much gub as would last a family for a month into a so-called cabin-sized bag. I bow to their super-powers certainly, but I kick my earth-bound heels at the effect this talent has upon an ordinary mortal like me. I once helped such a person wheel her well-stuffed, cabin-sized bag to the airport. For all the wrong reasons, it was a memorable experience. It was like trying to balance a lead weight on a bendy twig. If I lost concentration for one second, the bag element of the luggage wobbled out of control, taking its own course and threatening to take me with it. And as for lifting the thing, the weight was such that my shoulders ached for days afterwards. I ask another question: what is the point of living in the air age if we have to be built like Neanderthals in order to avail of air travel? Why can’t I travel in the company of my taller, slimmer, much-easier-to-handle suitacase without having to pay half the ticket price again to check it into the hold, in both directions? In summary, why am I being penalised for what should surely be an facility intrinsic to travelling? Can anyone tell me why?

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