Stuffing the mushroom

Friend, if I could get hold of whatever subject, aeons back in history, who grabbed a bunch of fungus, stuffed them in his mouth and ate them, I would show you a freak indeed. The wonder is that the habit caught on and that today, the cookbook shelves are groaning with volumes extolling the virtues of these prediluvian horrors. Over the years, otherwise good friends have tried to “convert” me into liking these anaerobic aberrations of nature, and all without success. I just cannot abide it, that bitter, corky-textured hunk of pulp with its musty after-taste, all the while knowing of its origins in the direst of environments - no air, no sunlight, plenty of dirt – like a parasite that thrives in the foulest area of the animal anatomy. After all, we don’t extol the virtue of the tapeworm, now do we? And it’s not like there is nothing else to eat on this planet; what ho to a healthful apple, orange or peach, bred in aerated soil and exposure to sunlight. Enjoy your feast of fungus, if you will, but remember, if God made the world, then the devil made….