Rock of Ages

When I heard that Tracey Emin had been the other half in a nuptial ceremony, my first thought was oh, no, not another independent, intelligent woman intent on sacrificing herself upon Hymen's altar; but then I learned the truth. Ms Emin has pledged her troth to a rock in the garden of her home. This knowledge has modified my emotions somewhat. After all, what partner could be more perfect than one who is always there, in all weathers, strong, silent and dependable? According to Wikipedia: "a rock or stone is a naturally occurring solid aggregate of one or more minerals...granite is a combination of quartz, feldspar and biotite minerals." I doubt if Ms Emin has had the geological composition of her spouse analysed - but really, who else knows the exact constitution of their life's partner - and does it matter? Rocks are the children of the stars, born in a cosmic cataclysm and tempered into planets, thus establishing gravity and time. Aeons down the line, the mineral fallout from rocks became me, you and other animals. I resume quoting Wiki: "The minerals and metals found in rocks have been essential to human civilization." Quite; without rock formation, we would not have had the ores and oxides essential for the making of a myriad pigments, marble slabs for Michelangelo's sculptings, and countless other treasures. In summary, we have the geological world to thank for the entire trajectory of art history - what a metaphor for Ms Emin! We wish her and her steady partner every happiness.