Unibond United.

My Unibond AERO 360 dehumidifying device has been in place for over four months now and I must say, it is doing a job of sorts. It has been a fascinating experience, placing that chemical tablet thingie in the plastic unit, letting on to guests that the contraption is a postmodern ornament and seeing it slowly dissolve as the tank underneath fills with blue water. The packaging tells us that said water is “salty” but I haven’t had the courage to taste it, so I take that on trust. The tablet supposedly lasts up to three months, but my tablets have dissolved all of two months – does this mean I was living in a fish tank before I put Unibond in place? Allow me calculate; the half litre that the tablet collects over eight weeks translates into three litres per year. This means that in the just over ten years since I’ve lived in my present pad, almost 30 litres of excess liquid has splashed over my carpets and curtains, has fugged my windows and run down my walls, saturating my books and furniture – I thought it felt uncomfortable in here. Multiply that figure by the 20 million or so households in Great Britain – minus the minority that uses Unibond Aero - and we are talking the Second Deluge. According to the Unibond folk, excess moisture provides ammo for “condensation, mould and mildew” and other antediluvian horrors – and it does make one think: just what is breeding out there? This could provide an explanation for the stranger organisms evident in public life – I rest my case. In spite of Unibond Aero, I still find the odd spot of mildew in my living quarters – but at least the device will stop it evolving into something nastier. Let’s unite with Unibond, now.